In the next few weeks I have set myself the challenge of being honest all the time, with myself in particular but with others too. And the reason for this? I’ve realised that this is very related to living a happier life and thus linked to the Law of Attraction.
‘Oooooo!’ I hear you say, ‘She’s a liar!’ Panic not. Am I a liar then? Well no and yes. I’m am an open person but sometimes I can be slippery and ‘hide out’ to create a front. I thinks its a fairly normal thing for some people but I’ve decided to see how it feels to be different and what changes it makes in my life.
I Hate Liars
Even though I understand why people lie sometimes I’ve always hated it in my own personal life. I went out with a big liar once and it was a nightmare. I never knew what was real and what was not. It was extreme and very destructive. He lied because his whole life was based on doing negative things.
Now I’m not talking about brutal honesty with no measures. I’m not going to stop being loving or kind or minding my own business. But what I am going to do is front things out. For me, its about being BRAVE and UPFRONT.
Lying is a block
Lying to yourself and others is a block to the Law of Attraction. It’s that simple. When you lie you create mixed messages. You are thinking one thing and saying or doing another. You are not being the real you and that cannot help you to be happy.
Types of lying
There are different ways of lying I am discovering. And there is a fine line between lying and being 100% honest. Being totally, brutally honest and saying whatever comes into my mind is not necessarily what i want to do. After all ‘truth’ is soooo subjective too. My truth has dam all to do with anybody else’s. So I’m not going to be brandishing a ‘truth at all costs’ sword. That’s just not me although I do have some interesting characters in my life who do this!
What I’m going to be working on is the kind of lies that are destructive to me. This is an example from this week.
Holding your silence
Lying is not just about saying things that are not true. It’s also about keeping quiet and by doing so …. you are not being honest. I do this sometimes. I hold back when I should be piping up and saying what i think. This is not helpful to me or anyone. It makes me resentful and that seeps out in some destructive ways. An example of this this week has been that I am shattered and the house has been going to wrack and ruin. Instead of being honest and saying, ‘Look, I need help! Help me please!’ I have stood back wondering why the glaringly obvious is not being done in my absence. In the process I became agitated and a bit resentful.
Solution: Please can you do this, this and this?
Answer: Yes of course, you should always say if you want me to do something
Outcome: Blessed relief
From a Law of Attraction point of view my displeasure and mounting anger became a total block. Trying to ‘be nice’ and cope with everything on my own was not making me happy it was making me anxious. Looking at the mile high grass and empty cupboards was not making me feel good about my environment or making me feel very abundant. Basically it sucked and I delayed doing anything about it. It was about not wanting to put people out but at the end of the day it’s really about teamwork. People were happy to help, happy with the end results and happy to make me happy. Win-win.
Combating this type of lying really is about being brave. If you know that you have done something wrong (I know how subjective this word is – wrong here means: wrong for you, the people involved), you want to tell the truth but you really don’t want all the emotional shit and negative feedback that will come with it. It’s a form of self protection. For this one you need to forgive yourself first and be brave enough to face the consequences. Gulp! I can think of one right now. Basically – I have to suck it up. Will keep you posted.
On a lighter note, something funny came up this week. In a social media course that I am doing with Holly Worton, she told us that it is better to have an photograph on our LinkedIn pages that really does resemble who we are now as she has been to many conferences and tried to put names to faces she had seen online but that the faces in front of her did not match. It made me laugh alot and is prompting me to perhaps do a video to introduce myself online.
I’m looking forward to the coming weeks to see how I get on with being more honest and upfront. I will keep you posted.
Do you have any stories about being honest in challenging situations? I would love to hear from you in the comments box below.